Too Damn Sad for a Country Song

I am sitting at Starbuck's at the corner of Sunset and Merganser in my city, Suisun City, CA writing this missive. My shoulder still hurts, I am killing time until my cat's foster person gets home so I can take Mowgli to the vet. I will probably have to put her down to end her misery. No such luck for me. Ming ran away last Friday and hasn't come back. They have been staying with a friend in the country. Ming was 16 years old. I just hope her death was swift and painless. I wrote on my Facebook page last night that I was underserving of them and I still believe that. I got mad at Will Smith's character in "The Pusuit of Happyness" for dragging his son all around to different homeless shelters. How has my journey been any different? I should have pt them up for adoption but didn't for the same reason Smith's character did not allow his wife to take care of his son during that time in his life. My cats were the only "children" I have had. And becuase of my actions, they have suffered.
I am still shaking from Saturday morning's incident, where the roommate I previosly wrote about assaulted me. They moved her into another room-right next to the one I am staying in. The person in that room was gone for the weekend, so GB (Ghetto Bitch) spent most of Saturday night banging on the wall to keep me awake. I did nothing and said nothing. She will not get the best of me, no matter how many knives she sleeps with or how many threats she makes against my life.
My shrink gave me some ativan and I just took one. I hope it stops the tremors. All I wanted was the door closed for a few minutes so I could read my Bible and pray in peace. But being the GB she is, she insisted that the door stay open and I could not have any peace and quiet. She slammed the door open and even left a huge mark in the wall and broke a piece of wood off the door. Then she got in my face, balled up her fist, and yelled at me that she was going to "fucking kill" me. When she was yelling she was spitting and I asked her to stop. She said she wasn't spitting. I stepped back, but she body slammed me, hurting my left shoulder and hocked up some nasty stuff and spat it at me. I walked away out into the living room where the 911 phone is located and dialed. I was shaking then as I am now, a little bit more then though. She continued to yell from the bedroom, calling me "a big fat bitch" and such. You should be able to hear it on the 911 call.
The police came but told me that writing a report would just be a bunch of work for nothing. She lied to them, saying I assaulted her and-get this-that I was a racist because I was afraid of black people! (Yep, Kelvin, you scare the BeJesus outta me!) I can't remember the last time I hit anyone it has been so long. And I wouldn't touch that skank with a 10-foot pole. Police left and the Program manager just moved her into the room next door. When that person cam home yesterday, the GB didn't complain about not having the door open. What more proof does anyone need that she is harassing me?
GB has turned her smoking buddy-who was a friend of mine-against me, saying I am a liar and just doing anything I can to get my own room. I have less than 30 days left to get out of there and I care about whether I have my own room or not? I am working 12 hour days. I come home only to shower and sleep. The only meal I wat there is breakfast but can't do that anymore unless there is a witness. She won't do anything to me as long as someone else is around.
Work is kind of tough, but that's what I signed up for. I am blessed to be working. I know that. But when I get off I just want to go home and be in peace. But as long as GB is there, she will do anything to try and annoy me, up to and including assault.
When she complained that all she got was a small pillow, I gavce her one of my personal pillows as well as my own personal pillowcase. I mentioned that in a note to the previous friend-GB's smoking buddy. When I came home last night I found the pillowcase thrown on the ground outside our door. She is still allowed in the room-why I don't know since she has no possessions in there-but that is what the program manager said. So GB took advantage of that to throw my pillowcase on the ground, outside. Not neatlty folded like I handed it to her.
If I was only allowed to have my cats with me,. They comforted me. Mowgli, how can I ever repay you? You loved me like no one in the world and I abandoned you and Ming. That was the whole thing-the carrot-I was reaching for. To get my own place so we could be together again. Instead Ming has vanished and you are probably too far gone to save. A month ago the person who was supposed to be taking care of you ran out of medication. He didn't call me to let me know. So your thyroid went crazy and I understand why you haven't kept yourself clean. Your organs are shutting down and you can barely move. And it is all my fault. I am so sorry, Mowgli. I didn't mean to to cause you or Ming harm.
My life is just too damn sad right now. Even a country artist couldn't sing about it.